Raisins - Kevin Spencer

"Strengthen me with raisins, refresh me with apples..." Song of Solomon 2:5a

Being in prison is never fun. Being in prison during the holidays can threaten to drain your soul.

As the holidays rolled around on my second year in prison, I was struggling. Nothing remotely resembled the holiday spirit. I couldn't stop comparing the bleakness of where I was, with the memories of Christmases past. I couldn't stop thinking about all the things I missed: family, bright Christmas decorations, Mom's Fruitcake, even raisins—I loved raisins—but hadn't seen a single one in over two years.

Oh, there was a Christmas tree in the prison library. A sad sight, it was littered with dull plastic, unbreakable ornaments so that we inmates wouldn't use them for weapons. It had no lights, because we might steal those for the wire to make any number of illegal devices (prison inmates, if nothing else, are extraordinarily innovative). So for me, beholding that poor tree, comparing it to the glorious Christmas trees of my youth, was almost more depressing than no tree at all.

And then, a week before Christmas, the guards came around passing out little gift bags. A local church had provided the inmates with a small touch of Christmas. My bag held some homemade cookies, a brownie, some chocolates, an orange and an apple, and at the very bottom, a treasure beyond measure. It was a small box of Sunmaid Raisins.

In that moment, looking at my little gift bag, all the Spirit of Christmas and God's love came together for me in that small box of raisins. God loved me, and had moved someone, somewhere, to provide his child with a gift he needed.

The cookies, the goodies, and the fruit were delicious. After two years of institutional food, anything homemade or fresh off the tree delighted my taste-buds. My stomach was happy, my heart was happy, and, for the moment anyway, it felt like Christmas. I even looked at the Christmas tree in the prison library in a new light. It really wasn't that bad, considering.

I rationed my raisins, stretching them out until Christmas Day, when I finished the box. There would be more holidays in prison before I was freed, but no more raisins. That was the last I would see of them for another four years. But in the years ahead, God would teach me not to wait for the Spirit of Christmas to come to me, but rather to seek it out—to look for it in the little things of the season—to seek it out, as I had sought him. He taught me you can find the Spirit of Christmas in the smallest things...even a box of raisins.


Kevin Spencer lives in Tennessee with his beautiful wife Charlotte and grandson Caleb. A former prodigal son, Kevin is now trying to use the gifts God gave him, and by the grace of God has a life far better than he ever deserved.

"Merry Birthday Christmas" - Kevin Spencer

“They entered the house where the child and his mother, Mary, were, and they fell down before him and worshipped him. Then they opened their treasure chest and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” Matthew 2:11

“Oma!!! Opa!!! Oma!!! Opa!!! Santa Claus was here!! Santa Claus was here!!”

My grandson was beside himself with joy. Last year was his 2nd Christmas with us since we took him into our home to raise, and now being a big 4-year-old, he had a much better handle on the whole Santa Claus/Christmas thing. Mostly he understood it meant PRESENTS. Drum sets and race cars, trains and monster trucks presented themselves in a wondrous array from beneath the Christmas tree.

Under the tree, now practically buried by stacks of brightly wrapped gifts, was something else that had held his attention—a Nativity Scene, complete with Wise men, livestock, angels and, of course, Mary, Joseph, and the baby Jesus in his manger. Caleb had helped set it up. He had originally balanced baby Jesus precariously on the back of one of the Wise men’s camels. “Baby’s can’t walk, so they have to ride.” he announced.

But it was the fact we were celebrating Jesus’ birthday that really got his attention. Caleb has a Christmas birthday too—December 13th. Several times last Christmas season, especially around his birthday, I found him stretched out under the Christmas tree playing with the Nativity scene, gently walking the ceramic Wise men with their gifts over to the ceramic baby Jesus, and softly singing “Happy Birthday to You.”

So, I don’t worry too much about Caleb and Santa Claus, and the way his eyes light up at all the materialistic trappings of Christmas, because I’m pretty sure that underneath all that, in his own 4-year-old way, he gets the true meaning of Christmas. I think he knows what a lot of us adults tend to forget, that the tiny, swaddled, baby Jesus, half hidden behind all the other brightly wrapped presents, is our true and greatest Christmas gift.

Thank you, my dear Caleb, for reminding me what that little ‘baby in a manger’ in our Christmas Nativity scene really represents. Thank you for the dancing light in your eyes on Christmas morning, that reminds me of the eternal light to the world that was born on that same morning 2000 years ago. And thank you, Father, for your wonderful, everlasting gift of Love.
Happy Birthday, indeed.

~**~**~

And one last personal note, if I may. On this date, December 6th, 6 years ago, God blessed me with the most wonderful woman to be my wife. Thank you, Charlotte, for 6 beautiful years of joy and love. You are my heart and soul, and I'm the luckiest man in the world.

Kevin Spencer lives in Tennessee with his beautiful wife Charlotte and grandson Caleb. A former prodigal son, Kevin is now trying to use the gifts God gave him, and by the grace of God has a life far better than he ever deserved.

Pennies from Heaven - Kevin Spencer

“So I tell you, don’t worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food, drink, and clothes. Doesn’t life consist of more than food and clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t need to plant or harvest or put food in barns because your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are.” - Matthew 6:25


My dear wife can spot a penny on the sidewalk from a football field away. Of course, she’s got good eyes. I don’t. I started wearing glasses in the 4th grade. Now at 51, I’ve made it to tri-focals. (I don’t want to know what comes after tri-focals.) But Charlotte still has good eyesight, and no sidewalk penny, nickel or dime is safe from her. Every stray coin she comes across is scooped up and deposited in glass jugs, mason jars, and even an old beer keg turned into a piggy bank. Every time she picks up a penny, she says, “In God We Trust.” Charlotte doesn’t just say it, she lives it.

Her frugality is amazing. But what’s more amazing is how the Lord blesses her efforts. Like the loaves and fishes that fed the multitudes, pennies from heaven seem to fill our piggy banks. Twice, when we desperately needed it, those make-shift piggy banks have been an answer to prayer. The coins they held within, were the amount we needed. Although, I have to admit, the bank manager wasn’t amused when I rolled that beer keg into the bank.

The Lord blesses her efforts in other ways, too. Charlotte is a Deputy Sheriff, and recently, the Sheriff’s Department decreed that all training would henceforth be done in camouflage pants, or “camos.” The department, however, didn’t offer to provide or pay for these camouflage pants. When Charlotte had training coming up, off we went in search of a pair of camos. Instead of heading for the mall or Wal-Mart, Charlotte decided we would start at the local Goodwill. There, in front of her, was a nearly pristine pair of camos, the perfect size, for $5.00.

The Lord has taught me, through Charlotte, that a penny saved is not just a penny earned, but it is also a penny blessed. Even with our economy teetering on total meltdown, the Lord is still with His children, providing their needs. He blesses our efforts to help ourselves, and our efforts to save for that inevitable rainy day.

Those everyday small blessings often go unremembered. The big blessings are more recognizable, more obvious, where the Lord has moved in our lives. But in reality, those small everyday blessings, those pennies from heaven, are how we know He is always there, always walking beside us.

Stop today, and recognize God’s small blessings. And, like Charlotte, you’ll probably find ways to make those blessings grow.


Kevin Spencer lives in Tennessee with his beautiful wife Charlotte and grandson Caleb. A former prodigal son, Kevin is now trying to use the gifts God gave him, and by the grace of God has a life far better than he ever deserved.

Help Me - Kevin Spencer

“He restores my soul.” Psalm 23:3a

The jail cell was cold. It was even colder down on the concrete floor with the thin foam mattress and threadbare blanket that constituted my bed. There was no open bunk for me in the overcrowded jail, so I had to make my bed on the floor. My head lay inches from the steel bars that stretched across the front of the tiny cell.

Cold, I pulled the blanket tight around me, but it didn’t help. My cold wasn’t only from the blaring air conditioning, but also from an emptied soul. I’d lost everything–willingly let Satan steal my heart and lead me away from God. I let him deceive me and lure me down a destructive path that had stolen everything I loved.

I was alone now. Incarcerated, and totally and completely alone. I knew I would be in prison for the rest of my life. There was no escape. Separated for the rest of my life from all that I knew and once loved. Hiding my head under the blanket from prying eyes, I wept.

As the tears spilled, I prayed my first prayer in a long time. Once, Jesus and I had been close. We had talked regularly, but I wandered away, seduced by alcohol and sex and the bright baubles of the world. Now, broken, shattered, and empty, I haltingly asked God if He was still there. The answer came immediately, “Yes, Kevin, I’m always here.”

“Please help me” I begged, “Please, Father, help me.”

His answer this time was simply to touch my heart. My soul stilled, and I was filled with his peace. And in the moment, I knew it would be alright. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know what trials still lay ahead. But I knew that it would be alright. I knew that I lay in the palm of His hand, safe. That image of me nestled in His palm came to me so strongly that I sat up, dug out my pencil and quickly sketched it.

Thirty years later, I still have it. It sits in my Bible, a constant reminder to me of His grace and love. “He restoreth my soul…” Psalm 23:3 says. On the floor of that Florida jail cell, He reached out and, with a touch, restored my empty and tattered soul.

And seven years later, by his love and grace, I walked out of prison a free man.

Are you overwhelmed? Are you despairing? Are you lost? Reach out to Him, open your heart to Him, and feel his love restore your soul.


Kevin Spencer lives in Tennessee with his beautiful wife Charlotte and grandson Caleb. A former prodigal son, Kevin is now trying to use the gifts God gave him, and by the grace of God has a life far better than he ever deserved.

"Are We There Yet?" -- Kevin Spencer

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection! But I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be.”

Philippians 3:12

My four year old grandson, Caleb, loves to ride in the car. He embraces the journey, enthusiastically describing every horse, cow, goat, school bus, monster truck, race car, fast food place, playground, and even the bugs on the windshield as we motor along. He keeps up a running commentary as we ride, as if he could pull the wondrous outside world into the car with him. With Caleb it is never, “Are we there yet?” rather it’s always, “Can’t we go somewhere else?”

I wish I could make my daily journey as a Christian as enthusiastic as Caleb’s journeys in the car. Yes, I know I’m going to heaven, but there is so much more to my daily Christian life than just waiting for that wondrous final reward. I remember singing in church of “the sweet by and by”, but all too often I wake up grumpy, to a new day faced with the hard here and now. Yet that too is part of my journey, part of my growing process. Christ is alive in my heart, longing to fill every minute of my life, if I would just let go and let him work.

The Apostle Paul speaks of our Christian life as a marathon, a long distance run. As a former long distance runner I should appreciate this more, but all too often I find myself forgetting that the endurance of each step is its own reward. All too often I find myself merely looking ahead to my promised finish line, rather than embracing the pain of perseverance that shapes me into the Body of Christ.

One thing I notice about Jesus’ life and his time on earth. He never seemed to be in a hurry. In fact, he seemed to go out of His way to slow down and rest. When told his friend Lazarus was dying, Jesus delayed coming.

“Is he here yet?” Mary and Martha may have asked.

No, he was taking his own sweet time…as He takes His own sweet time with me. Thank God He does. What event in your life seems so important that you are rushing past the blessings of a simple stroll with Christ?

Kevin Spencer lives in Tennessee with his beautiful wife Charlotte and grandson Caleb. A former prodigal son, Kevin is now trying to use the gifts God gave him, and by the grace of God has a life far better than he ever deserved.