Conquering Resentment - Jocelyn Green

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Philippians 2:3-4

Several Coast Guard wives, myself included, had crammed into an apartment living room for a book club meeting. As we chatted, the hostess unleashed a bitter monologue concerning her husband’s frequent absences at sea and punctuated it with a booming, “I did not sign up to be a single parent!” With one toddler and another baby due soon, this woman was clearly frazzled. Unfortunately, her resentment over having to be solo spilled out of her like a toxin.

Heroes at Home author, Ellie Kay, points out that resentment takes root when the focus is on our own unfulfilled desires and expectations, on why life isn’t the way we want it to be right now. Our book club hostess, like most of us, desired for her husband to be a present father. Many spouses struggle with not being able to pursue professional ambitions due to the transitory lifestyle of the military. And who doesn’t wish we could spend more time with our families or friends we’ve left scattered all over the country?

In Lies Women Believe, Nancy Leigh DeMoss points out that no matter who we are, we will always have unfilled longings this side of heaven (Romans 8:23). “We must learn to accept those longings, surrender them to God, and look to Him to meet the deepest needs of our hearts,” she writes.

Naomi and Ruth, both widowed and childless, certainly had unfulfilled longings when they returned to Bethlehem empty-handed. But instead of wallowing in their tragedy, Ruth rolled up her sleeves and went to work—hard work—gleaning in the fields under the hot sun so she could provide for herself and her mother-in-law.

When resentment threatens to infect our hearts, we should take a cue from Ruth and step outside ourselves to serve others. “If our situation won’t change, we must,” says Kay. “The best way for a wife/husband to stop resenting their spouse’s military service is for them to get out there and invest in the lives of other people. Soon you’ll find that the very needs that had built resentment in your heart will turn around as you see God invited into the equation.”

Jocelyn Green is an award-winning freelance writer and author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives (www.faithdeployed.com), from which this devotional was adapted. She and her husband Rob live with their two children in Cedar Falls, Iowa.












Publisher: Moody Publishers
ISBN-10: 0802452507
ISBN-13: 978-0802452504

Choosing Hope - Jocelyn Green

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

What is it you hope for? Perhaps it is the safety of your husband or wife, or for an easy transition after deployment, or for a certain assignment. Or, could it be that you have been walking in difficulty for so long you are finding it difficult to hope at all? If you find your faith giving way to doubt, you are not alone.

The theme of hope runs throughout both the Old and New Testaments. Hebrews 11 honors heroes of the faith for righteousness even when they could not see the end result. Verse 11 says, “By faith even Sarah herself received ability to conceive, even beyond the proper time of life, since she considered Him faithful who had promised.”

If you remember the story, you will recall that Sarah had such a hard time allowing herself to hope God would keep his promise of giving her a son that she gave her handmaiden Hagar to Abraham to have a son through her. She took the matter into her own hands before the Lord’s plan came to fruition. And yet, after years of waiting, God still kept his promise and allowed her to give birth to Isaac, who would be the father of countless generations.

In our darkest hours, what we believe about God is the only thing that can sustain us. Our hope should be placed in God’s character, not in our outward circumstances. When we have no answers to the “Why” questions, it is our answer to “Who” – our knowledge of God and assurance that He is good and sovereign – that keeps us going.

“In all of my trials, it has become quite clear that I have a choice,” says Army Chaplain wife, Rebekah Benimoff. “I could take all my pain and grief and unanswered questions and truthfully, honestly submit them to El-Shaddai, ‘The God Who is Sufficient for His People,’ or I could choose to turn away from Him and become resentful. I could choose Hope – or I could choose to walk away from hope. How could I choose hopelessness, when there is such HOPE to be found? I choose hope despite what I cannot understand. I choose to believe that God is who He says He is, despite what my circumstances are.”

There is hope in husbands and wives, hope in children, hope in families and hope in the future, when we look toward Christ.

Jocelyn Green is an award-winning freelance writer and author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives (www.faithdeployed.com), from which this devotional was adapted. She and her husband Rob live with their two children in Cedar Falls, Iowa.


Publisher: Moody Publishers
ISBN-10: 0802452507
ISBN-13: 978-0802452504

Affairs of the Heart - Protecting Family - Jocelyn Green

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23

A woman in our Coast Guard unit had been corresponding with her old boyfriend for months. Unbeknownst to her husband, she was emailing and instant messaging late into the night. She was convinced she would be happier if she filed for divorce, hoped for the best for her children, and returned to the arms of the one she did not marry.

While the geographical distance prevented her from having a physical relationship with this man, she was clearly in an emotional affair. Perhaps she thought emailing couldn’t hurt anything. But the more she shared of her heart with the man, the more her desires bent toward being with him as a permanent solution to her loneliness and dissatisfaction in her marriage.

Each one of us is vulnerable to the same situation. Those of us who would “never have an affair” might just be feeling lonely enough to mention it to a sympathetic listener. If he (or she) offers us the attention we are craving, how can our hearts not want to go back for more? While not every emotional affair ends in a physical affair, you can bet that every physical affair once began as an emotional affair.

It’s inevitable that you will notice attractive men and women—and that isn’t sinful. It would be sinful if we allow that attraction to spur us on to develop an emotional attachment to that person. Here are some questions Shannon Ethridge suggests we ask ourselves to evaluate whether we, as married individuals, are in dangerous territory:

• Do you think of this man or woman often (several times each day) even though they are not around?
• Do you go out of your way to run into them?
• Do you wonder if they feel any attraction toward you?

One way to play it safe and help guard our hearts is to guard our mouths. Flirting, complimenting, complaining, confessing, and inappropriate counseling and praying are all ways of communicating that could lead to a deeper relationship—in other words, avoid them!

If you find yourself struggling to reserve your heart’s affections for your spouse, seek out a trusted friend to serve as an accountability partner to you. You are less likely to stumble if you know you’ll have to report it. “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another”.

Jocelyn Green is an award-winning freelance writer and author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives (www.faithdeployed.com), from which this devotional was adapted. She and her husband Rob live with their two children in Cedar Falls, Iowa.


Publisher: Moody Publishers
ISBN-10: 0802452507
ISBN-13: 978-0802452504

Comparing Trials - Joceyln Green

“Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:2 NASB

A woman in my Bible study was having a hard time dealing with the fact that her family had moved across the country. After years of living in the same small town of Homer, Alaska, this woman missed them terribly and was growing bitter about it.

As I listened to her share with broken voice and many tears, I’m ashamed to admit I had no compassion for her whatsoever. You call that bad? I thought. Try being a military wife! We hardly ever get to live near our extended families. We don’t even live with our own husbands half the time!

I carried my “I have it worse than you” attitude home with me that day. I snuggled up to it to make myself feel more virtuous or worthy somehow. But the tighter I held on to it, the less Christ was able to use me. I used my own trials as something to be proud of. What a ridiculous thing to boast about.

Proverbs 14:10 says, “The heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy.” When I read that verse, it seems to tell me that each person’s burden causes him/her a pain that should not be diminished just because someone else has it worse. It is worthless to compare trials. A truly humble person will bear one another’s burdens no matter how they “rank” next to their own.

Paul does not say, “Bear one another’s burdens only if you deem them of sufficient magnitude. If it isn’t a big deal to you, go ahead and let your sister in Christ figure it out on her own. She’ll get over it.” We are to “Bear one another’s burdens”—period.

“Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus.” Now, if anyone had the right to consider other people’s complaints as petty, Jesus did. Jesus knew he would die a horrific death on the cross to pay for the sins of the people who put him there—and yet he comforted and healed thousands of people with lesser trials. May we seek to model Jesus’ humility and compassion in our own lives.


Jocelyn Green is an award-winning freelance writer and author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives (http://www.faithdeployed.com/), from which this devotional was adapted. She and her husband Rob live with their two children in Cedar Falls, Iowa.








Publisher: Moody Publishers
ISBN-10: 0802452507
ISBN-13: 978-0802452504

Branded - Jocelyn Green

“I bear on my body the brand-marks of Jesus.”
Galatians 6:17 NASB

“Hi, I’m Jocelyn.” I was one of several new Coast Guard wives being welcomed to the unit with a potluck luncheon. Already unsure of myself in this new military world, I was completely taken aback when my introduction of myself was countered with, “Oh, don’t bother telling us your name. You’re the XO’s [Executive Officer] wife, and that’s all you’ll ever be to us.”

My husband’s title had just branded me for the duration of my time in this tiny town of Homer, Alaska. Perhaps I should have expected it, but I was frustrated. I wanted to be identified for who I was, not for what Rob did for a living.

And then I realized something else: instead of seeking to declare my identity as an individual, I really should have been more concerned with staking my identity in Christ. What truly matters is who I am—who we are—in Christ.

National Guard wife, Amy MacLeod, says, “Although it is not always easy, I must see myself through the lens of Jesus. His blood has washed me, and I am a new creation fully pleasing to God. I have a purpose and I am well equipped for the task.”

Our goal should be to become so firm in our identity with Christ that our love and service for him is unmistakable to those who see us. Exodus 21 says that if, at the end of six years, a Hebrew slave decides he loves his master and chooses not to be set free, “then his master shall bring him to God, then he shall bring him to the door or the doorpost. And his master shall pierce his ear with an awl; and he shall serve him permanently.” The pierced ear identified him as a bondslave for the rest of his life. It was a reminder both to him and to all who met him.

When Paul says that he bears brand-marks for Jesus, some theologians say he is identifying himself as Christ’s willing bondslave for life. No matter who we are, where we are stationed, or what our husbands do, may we strive to make our most defining, identifiable characteristic that of willing service to Jesus Christ. Won’t you do the same?

Jocelyn Green is an award-winning freelance writer and author of Faith Deployed: Daily Encouragement for Military Wives (www.faithdeployed.com), from which this devotional was adapted. She and her husband Rob live with their two children in Cedar Falls, Iowa.