Broken Dreams - Sue Payne

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." 2 Corinthians 4:7

The pieces were scattered everywhere. Confused and hurt, I scrambled to gather them up before one of them was lost. As I picked up each treasured fragment, memories of lessons taught and shared, plans anticipated, and hopes only a mother would dream, assaulted my heart. How could I ever get it together again? Was it beyond repair? Would it ever be the same? I comforted myself thinking, at least I still had all the pieces.

A wise mother once told me that when your children are young they’ll step on your feet. When they’re older, they’ll step on your heart, but only if you let them. I had not been prepared for the events that unfolded in my son’s life, so contrary they were to his character and to how he had been brought up in the Lord. My heart shattered.

Surely God would see what was happening and intervene, I thought. He would hear the cries of my heart and the midnight prayers. He would comfort me in the sleepless hours when fear overtook my thoughts.

Nothing changed. In fact, it continued to get worse.

After weeks of fighting this emotional stress, weary and defeated I told God that I just could not continue on in this way. It was not long before God’s Spirit whispered, “Your heart may be fragile and broken, but my power within you is greatest when you are weak.”

I treasure my son, but in my weakness of mourning his decisions, I had forgotten the ever present treasure of God’s grace and power in my life.

Although things remain the same in my son’s life, I have chosen to change. I believe that God’s perfect plan is unfolding even though I cannot clearly see it. I receive, daily, the precious gifts God has given me in this fragile jar of clay I call my heart and point to Him when others ask me the reason for my joy and strength. I hold on, in faith, to the broken pieces because within them lies my hope; Jesus, the Ultimate Treasure.

Sue Payne is a freelance writer whose articles have appeared in home schooling newsletters and church news bulletins. She is experienced in curriculum planning and design and uses her writing skills to encourage and teach others. Sue lives in Delaware, is married, and has two boys whom she home schooled for a total of fourteen years.
Read Sue's devotions.